7 Quick Takes, Vol. 4

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What a week! The best part of being a missionary who fundraises her own salary is getting to meet people I might have no reason to meet up with otherwise. This Tuesday, I spent the afternoon down in Appleton, WI and had lunch with a cousin who I haven't seen a while, and dinner with my uncle and his family. It was such a nice opportunity to see some members of my family who I don't know well, but would like to know better.

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Speaking of family, tomorrow I have another cousin getting married in the Twin Cities! It will be the first time my dad's family has gotten together in years! I'm looking forward to seeing cousins and aunts and uncles again, and hearing about how they've been doing.

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I'm planning to stay in Minnesota an extra day to visit with some friends who are living out there. One friend has been in Austria for the past 6 months, and I can't wait to hear about the fun times she has had teaching kindergartners in Klagenfurt! The other friend I'm excited to see got engaged at the end of the school year, and her and her fiance both moved to the Twin Cities area. I'm looking forward to hearing how her wedding plans are going, and just spending time with both of them.

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While speaking at my parish this Sunday, I met two young women who will be at FOCUS campuses this fall! One will be a freshman down in Louisiana, and the other returns for her second year at UW-LaCrosse. It was so encouraging to hear how the message of FOCUS really helped them to have a desire to become more involved with the campus Catholic community this fall! It's this kind of news that inspires me to continue working diligently here at home so that I can be more effective on campus this fall.

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For not having rained all summer, things sure have turned around fast! My "white noise" while studying this past year has been the sound of rain, so it's nice that the background atmosphere is real rain and not just noise coming from my computer! It's such a soothing sound, and it makes me want to curl up with a book and a cup of tea. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to take the time off to do so, and it's also still pretty humid and so the thought of having a blanket on is not pleasant!

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St. Agnes Church, my home parish growing up.

I love going to daily Mass at St. Agnes at 6:45 am and seeing over 50 people in attendance. It's so encouraging to see so many men and women come to mass before going off to work, and older couples waking up so early to start their day off with the Eucharist.

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It's raining again this morning! As kids, my sisters and I would be grabbing our umbrellas to go outside and play!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

A Knight in the Lord's Army

A knight with a pilgrims.

One of the first passages I meditated on in the Bible back when I first learned lectio divina was from Ephesians 6: "Put on the armor of God,...stand fast with your loins girded in truth, clothed with righteousness." I fell in love with the intense imagery of the passage, and I often reread it when I could use some encouragement. The idea of putting on armor has always brought me to medieval times when kings and queens and knights roamed throughout Europe.

I was a history major at the UW, but my concentration was in modern history, long past the days when medieval were traveling throughout the land. After a quick google search of knighthood, I found that the root of the word knight is "servant." A knight was originally someone designated to serve! The very first military knights were simple soldiers who traveled with pilgrims as protectors to help them reach their destination safely. This has brought a whole new idea to the passage. It's not of a knight preparing herself for battle, but of one donning the clothing that will allow her to defend her charges to the best of her ability.

In the introduction to his letter to the Romans, St. Paul writes that he has been "set apart for the gospel." While praying with this passage, I found myself remembering back to the imagery from Ephesians. To become a knight, young men were singled out from early age, and taught how to be a knight--how to serve, how to protect, how to guide.

In many ways, then, the work I will be doing as a FOCUS missionary is akin to knighthood. I hope to serve, protect, and guide the students at Mary Washington in their journey of faith. I won't physically put on armor, but I will arm myself with the Sacraments, with prayer, and with community. I hope to live up to this call. I hope my words and actions will be girded in truth, clothed in righteousness.

Finally, draw your strength from the Lord and from his mighty power. Put on the armor of God so that you may be able to stand firm against the tactics of the devil. For our struggle is not with flesh and blood but with the principalities, with the powers, with the world rulers of this present darkness, with the evil spirits in the heavens. Therefore, put on the armor of God, that you may be able to resist on the evil day and, having done everything, to hold your ground. So stand fast with your loins girded in truth, clothed with righteousness as a breastplate,and your feet shod in readiness for the gospel of peace. In all circumstances, hold faith as a shield, to quench all [the] flaming arrows of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. (Eph. 6:11-17)

7 Quick Takes, vol. 3

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Bascom Hall at the UW, where I worked for 2 years as the student assistant in the Legal Services office.

All about Madison! I just graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Madison this spring, with degrees in history and religious studies. Growing up, going to college always meant going to the UW. I absolutely LOVED going to school at Wisconsin, and I will miss campus so much next year.

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Memories came flooding back all week as I saw the buildings where I had class or worked and the places I met with students for mentoring. Restaurants where we ate, the Union where we hung out, Bascom Hill where we would just sit and relax. Now, however, new memories have been made! Sitting down with my friends here, and sharing with them my vision and mission with FOCUS in Virginia. Seeing their excitement and joy on my behalf was exactly what my soul needed! The men and women at Wisconsin know firsthand the need to reach out to college students, and when they themselves are unable to physically go and fulfill the Great Commission, knowing that I am able to go and help provides joy and hope.

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I was able to eat at some of my favorite restaurants for the last time in the near future. Even though I ate out for both lunch and dinner for 5 days, I never ate at the same place twice! Cosi, the Med Cafe, Chipotle, Panera, Noodles, Sunroom Cafe, and many others.  I'm sure these places exist outside of Madison, WI, but the environment won't be the same. Thinking about it, I'm not sure it's the food that is the draw so much as the company and memories. Going to Einstein's Bagels with the girls I mentored. Or grabbing lunch at Chipotle after Mass on Sunday. The food is yummy, but the chance to sit down and relax with friends is what made State Street such a wonderful place.

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This week, however, did keep me on my toes! It was a constant rush of meeting people all over campus, and I loved every minute of it! Seeing campus was a flood of the familiar, but also curiosity at the new. There's always construction going on around here on campus, and some of the new buildings are finally done! It was a great reminder to see the new cafeteria downtown, the new dorm on lakeshore, the huge hole across from the Business school. Things change. This campus won't stand still just because I've left it.

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College is meant to be a transitory place. It is only supposed to last 4 or 5 years. Then we are meant to step off campus and apply what we've learned. It's definitely easier said than done, but even if I stayed, others wouldn't. Life moves on whether I want it to or not. Luckily, I'm part of the mission of FOCUS! So even though I won't be on this campus, I will still be at college. But college without the studying and exams!

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I am so glad I was able to spend a week in Madison before leaving for Virginia. It was so joyful to see many of the students and former students I grew to know and love over the past four years. I was especially glad to see two of the the women I had mentored this past year. Hearing them talk about the upcoming year, I know they will succeed, even without me here. It will be hard to leave them, since so much of my energy last year went into helping them, but there are new faces waiting for me in Virginia who will need me in ways that the women here don't.

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Unrelated, my team director Anthony and his wife Rosabel had a baby girl yesterday! Gemma Rose Christenson was born yesterday afternoon. I'm so excited to have a little baby in our FOCUS family next year at Mary Washington!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Encouragement

I stumbled across this image today, and I absolutely LOVE it! The image itself is pretty, and the quote is so great! With all the stress that comes with missionary life and fundraising, it's nice to just sit back, and breathe. To remember that in the end, God doesn't need me. He can reach souls and change hearts in the blink of an eye. I am so privileged that He desires to work through me.

But, ultimately, He just wants me, my soul. Because what Father doesn't want to simply spend time with His daughter?

7 Quick Takes, vol. 2

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Trusting in God is hard. Putting my faith in something, Someone, that I can't see is incredibly difficult. It's so easy to fall into the "what ifs"...What if God doesn't actually exist? What if I'm not supposed to be a missionary and God is trying to tell me that and I'm just not getting it? What if I'm not cut out for mission life? What if nobody likes me in Virginia? What if I can't raise enough to get to Virginia? What if... What if... What if... The list can go on and on in my head.

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I sometimes feel like St. Thomas, aka Doubting Thomas. The missionaries around me have seen the Lord. They know Him- they've heard His voice, they've seen His face. He is not a mystery to them. But I don't believe them. I haven't heard Him or seen His face. How can they have such complete and total trust in this Great Mystery? Why do they seem to get it, and my mind keeps reaching a dead end. Why do I keep walking into a brick wall when it comes to putting complete and total faith in Him?

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I recently found a prayer by St. Thomas Aquinas that seems to summarize my doubts perfectly. It's the Adoro Te Devote, and it speaks about believing in God, particularly in the Eucharist, where both His humanity and divinity is hidden. I love the whole prayer, but especially the line that claims that "hearing suffices firmly to believe." At Mass, during the Eucharistic prayer, all I have is the sound of the priest speaking the Words of Consecration, but those words are enough, they must be enough.

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Other times, trust comes more easily, more naturally. For example, I still don't have an apartment in Virginia. But for some reason, this doesn't bother me at all. I am totally confident that by the time I need to move to Fredericksburg, I will have a place to live.

Preferably not a little shack by the side of the railroad tracks!

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And I know that God is good, that Jesus is Lord. He takes care of me in the little ways- running into an old friend from high school whom I haven't seen in years, hearing about how a mission partner had an incredible encounter with the Holy Spirit, turning on the radio right as my favorite song starts playing. I know He loves me in the little things.

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It's the big things that keep me up at night, tossing and turning. Although, surprisingly, my unconscious doesn't register "finding a place to live" as a big thing. It's the worries about money (will I ever raise enough to be able to go to campus?), about friends (will anyone in Virginia like me and how can I leave all my Wisconsin friends?), about meeting people (why would I ever have volunteered for a job that involves talking to strangers every day?). But mostly it's about money.

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But as my team director has said, "We work for the richest Man in the world." And I do! We only have what God allows us to have, and He won't allow me to live in poverty, alone and friendless, meeting only unpleasant, rude people. I do trust that in the abstract. It's only in the daily grind, where I start thinking that I'm somehow missing something that others have,  that it's difficult.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

7 Quick Takes Friday, vol. 1

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The theme this week is SUMMERTIME. And as a warning- I'm not a huge fan of summer. There are definite pluses, but I'm more a fan of a wintertime: snow, warm fires, and hot chocolate with blankets.

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But the best part of summer is the music. I love listening to country music, and country music was made for the summer. Can you imagine listening to this (Rascal Flatts' "Banjo") in the middle of winter? I personally don't want to hear music about the heat and fireworks and pick up trucks when you have to put on 3 layers of clothing to go outside where the roads and sidewalks are covered with ice, and the last thing you want is a nice, cold, refreshing drink!

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I don't handle the heat well. Unfortunately, like many people, my body starts to swell, and I get all uncomfortable in my own skin. My fingers start to get bloated, which makes my hands stiff, and then I realize just how totally necessary your hands are in everyday life.

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You know that feeling when you walk outside and immediately want to go back inside and take a shower? I really like being outside, but in the crazy heat we've been having in Green Bay these past few days, one step outside and you're immediately drenched in sweat. Days like these make me wonder why I ever complained about the cold!

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The Forth of July is in summer! I love the 4th of July! Grilling out is one of my favorite meals, and this year, I grilled corn on the cob for my sisters and I. Simple, easy, and delicious, if I do say so myself.

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With fireworks! I'm a little picky when it comes to fireworks. Growing up, my family has traditionally taken this week off and spent it together at our cottage in northern WI. We were right outside a small town, and would go see their fireworks show over the weekend. As a result, I'm partial to the small fireworks shows that aren't paired with music, and don't last more than 15 minutes, and where most people come in a pick up truck with flannel blankets to sit on.We never had the pick up truck, but we did pull out the flannel blankets to sit on!

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It is hard to beat the view that Madison, WI offers though. Last year I stayed down on campus over the holiday, and that view, with the lake and the capital, is is absolutely spectacular!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Coming and Going

A Hobbit's Tale.

The near past and the near future involve me staying for extended periods of time in different cities. From Madison to Green Bay, from Champaign, IL to St. Paul, MN, it feels like my life is constantly being uprooted. I crave stability. I love knowing that wherever I am, there is a house, my home, waiting for me. In my imagination, this home looks like a cozy cottage with a fire in the fireplace in the middle of the woods surrounded by foot upon foot of snow.

I love both solitude and security. This constant coming and going and going and coming has me all mixed up and off balance. Unfortunately, it doesn't help my state of mind knowing that this place of stability for the next nine months will be...Virginia. A place to which I've never been. On top of that, we don't currently have an apartment leased. So it's a hypothetical place at the moment. Oh dear.

While I will enjoy finally having a place to stay for longer than five weeks at a time, I have been struggling to look forward to living for a year in a place I have never been and didn't actively choose to go. I wasn't able to sit down and make a list of all the reasons moving to Virginia would be good. I was sent out. I wasn't asked to choose one school from five at which I would like to serve. I was sent out to Virginia. If, for some crazy reason, Virginia is terrible and the worst place in the USA, I'm stuck there for nine months. Not that I'm anticipating this to happen, but I tend to plan for the worst.

I knew that this was what it meant to be a missionary. I knew when I applied to FOCUS that I would be asked to serve wherever the need was greatest. I passively chose Virginia. I had hoped the greatest need for me was in Wisconsin, or even Minnesota, but it wasn't. I am needed in Virginia. So off I go, to the "Great Unknown."

But not today. Today I look to tomorrow. And tomorrow I look to the day after that. Today I'm in Green Bay, Wisconsin. And tomorrow I will be too.