2012 in Review

As the year draws to a close, I thought it might be a good time to take a moment to reflect on the past year. So, here it is: 2012 in review.

January
I began my last semester as an undergraduate at the University of Wisconsin! I also started to feel the pressure of having a thesis due in three short months. It was both a relief and slightly terrifying! Even though I wasn't a full-time student, I knew I had a tough semester ahead of me, with my part-time job, Bible study, discipleships, and finding time to enjoy Madison!

February
Lent began in February, and I decided to go big this year. I gave up meat for the whole forty days! It was a budget-friendly decision - meat, on average, costs much more than rice and beans, but also a spiritual one, as there was nothing that would prevent me from not eating meat. I originally thought it would be a really difficult sacrifice, like the way I would crave a cheeseburger every Friday during Lent in the past, but it ended up being much different than I imagined. I found I really didn't dream about eating meat as much as I expected. In fact, there are so many different non-meat options, that my diet hardly suffered at all.* The hardest part was eating out at restaurants, and not being able to order 90% of what was on the menu.
*Except when I really wanted shepards pie, but couldn't use hamburger. I tried using barley with extra sauce as a substitute, but it really didn't turn out at all. I had rubbery barley and mushy mashed potatoes with a sauce that really suffered from not having the hamburger flavor. I ate the whole thing as a sacrifice, and even tried not to complain!

March
I realized that turning 22 isn't quite as fun as turning 21. I don't even remember whether or not I had a birthday party to be honest! But a good friend, whose birthday is just a few days after mine, turned 21 and had a big celebration. I had so much fun baking a cake for her, and seeing her excitement, that whatever I did has totally slipped my mind! March was also unseasonably warm, and I remember being so happy to ditch the winter boots and bring out the sundresses and sandals!

April
With just over a month left of school, April was crunch-time. I realized that if my thesis was ever going to get written, I needed to start writing, and writing fast! I also saw looming deadlines in my other classes, and smaller deadlines for papers and projects that become more of a nuisance than anything. I also started to realize that I might have bitten off more than I could chew with work and Bible studies! I ended up having to cut back a little to finish my school work, but, in the end it all worked out and my thesis got done.

May
Graduation! After four years of hard work and dedication, I finally graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Madison with degrees in History and Religious Studies. It was a bittersweet moment. I was incredibly proud to have made it through my time at the UW, but it was harder than I thought it would be to leave behind all my friends that I had grown so close to over four years. Of course, I'm still close to so many of my friends, but it takes a lot more effort now that we don't see each other on a daily or even weekly or monthly basis.

My sisters and I at graduation

June

I was at FOCUS New Staff Training, colloquially known as "Summer Training" or NST, for the whole month of June. It was a really difficult transition for me, to graduate from the UW and one week later be back in classes. I also found it hard to come from UW-Madison, where I encountered a wide variety of people with many different opinions, to NST, where everyone that I saw was a Catholic missionary. It was wonderful in some ways, to know that we were all striving for holiness together, without any of the first years really having a good sense of what we would be encountering in the next few months with fundraising and transitioning to campus, but I really struggled with feeling so homogeneous.

Me (second right) with FOCUS missionaries at NST

July
Fundraising, fundraising, and more fundraising! I spent the whole month meeting with people to tell them more about FOCUS and the mission work I would be doing for the next two years, and inviting them to join me! At times it got really tiring and prayer was the only thing that helped me through it all, but it also was really amazing to reconnect with old friends and meet some new faces! I particularly enjoyed meeting so many parishioners at St. Agnes Parish, where I grew up and have worshiped with for years, but never knew! Now, whenever I go to mass there, I always know at least one other person and often more. I love feeling so connected with a community back home.

August
At the beginning of the month, I packed up almost everything I owned, and traveled across the country to Virginia, my new home! Oh my goodness! I learned to trust God SO MUCH over the summer, with fundraising, and I got to trust Him just a little bit more in moving. It's funny to think that almost everyone that I see on a daily basis I met just a few months ago, and that the place I now call home was totally unknown to me before August 10!

September
It was so hard to transition from student to missionary! I had no clue what I was doing half the time, and I struggled to figure out how to relate to the students as a missionary, and not as a fellow student. While I am still their peer in many ways, I am also a representative of the Church and a living witness to Christ. Talk about pressure! I'll be the first to admit that it wasn't always easy. There were many sleepless nights of wondering whether or not I'd said or done the right thing. At times, I thought for sure all the students hated me and that I was the worst missionary in the history of the world! And then I would realize I was being dramatic, and just kept on working, knowing that "all things work for good for those who love God" (Romans 8:28 - a Bible verse that has gotten me through many rough times this semester).

October
By the end of the month, Halloween, I finally felt like Virginia was home. I knew more of the students on a deeper level, my teammates and I had gotten into a routine, and I more or less knew my way around Fredericksburg. It also helped that I was able to visit Wisconsin for about a week! Although it was nice to be back at the UW and at my parents' house, neither of those places were home. I know more people living in Fredericksburg than I do in Green Bay. St. Paul's, UW's campus Catholic church, held more unfamiliar faces than familiar ones. Returning to campus was difficult, but it was nice to return to my ordinary pattern of living.

Susie and I went as "hawaiian punch" for Halloween

November

I (finally!) visited Washington, DC with Susie and a fellow UW grad who lives in the city. It was so much fun to see our nation's capital. It was a beautiful day, so we walked around to all the monuments, and stopped briefly in the American History Museum to see the original American flag they have there. Stepping outside of campus life for the weekend was a lot of fun. Sometimes I feel like my life is on display, like my actions are always being judged and noticed by teammates and students. And for the most part, it's true. As a missionary, I do have a responsibility to represent myself well because it doesn't go unnoticed. But, at the same time, even if I wasn't a missionary, I would still have the responsibility as a Catholic to represent myself and the Church well.

Susie and I at the Virginia pillar of the World War II memorial in Washington, DC

December

I'm 25% of the way done with my FOCUS mission work! Now that I've started to make the transition from student to missionary, I'm starting to prepare for the next transition: missionary to student. Specifically, studying for the LSAT, the Law School Admission Test. But first, I'll just enjoy spending time with my family, being back in the midwest, and the snow! If I've learned anything from being a missionary, it's that life is best handled one day at a time!

Houston, We Have a Problem

Oh man, why don't all these boxes hold more!? And maybe my clothes would all grow legs and jump into my suitcases

Oh my goodness, it's time for me to leave for Virginia. Which means packing... Yikes! As of right now, there's SO MUCH to do, I just don't even know where to begin. I think I've looked in my closet, at my desk, went into the bathroom and stared at all the stuff I have there, and then start looking at everything again. Maybe, if I just look really intently at all my things for long enough, they'll pack themselves up all nicely. Maybe they'll even magically be transported to Virginia.

And I'm pretty sure my stuff has gotten bigger, while my car has gotten smaller. And I keep remembering things I have to bring--like, it's hot now, but in a few months it will be cold! I need my winter clothes! And blankets! And snow boots! Uh-oh...

Except, even as I'm packing, I'm not sure I want any of my things to be magically moved to Virginia. Today seemed to just fly by. I looked at the clock and it was 7 am. Then I blinked and it was 3 pm and then, just one blink later, it's 9 pm. And now I only have one day, ONE DAY!, left in Green Bay. I'm not sure that's long enough--I don't know how to leave my family, and say "See you at Christmas!" My things fit so well in my room and my closet and, really, it seems like such a waste to move everything only to move it all back in a year or two. Maybe I should just not go.

But what am I thinking!? Of course I'm going to go! I love my job!! A missionary at the UW told me that change is good, but transition is hard. And it's so true! I'll just remember that this packing up of my life isn't supposed to be easy. I'll just remember that my things fit in my room so well because they've been here for 22 years, so it's right that they fit. It's hard to pack up and move, because it somehow seems more permanent than moving to college did. I might be making this more dramatic than it needs to be. (I started crying while packing, so I'm definitely making this more dramatic than it needs to be.) And I also might be writing this blog post just to put off more packing...

Change is good; transition is hard.

7 Quick Takes, vol. 3

--- 1 ---

Bascom Hall at the UW, where I worked for 2 years as the student assistant in the Legal Services office.

All about Madison! I just graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Madison this spring, with degrees in history and religious studies. Growing up, going to college always meant going to the UW. I absolutely LOVED going to school at Wisconsin, and I will miss campus so much next year.

--- 2 ---

Memories came flooding back all week as I saw the buildings where I had class or worked and the places I met with students for mentoring. Restaurants where we ate, the Union where we hung out, Bascom Hill where we would just sit and relax. Now, however, new memories have been made! Sitting down with my friends here, and sharing with them my vision and mission with FOCUS in Virginia. Seeing their excitement and joy on my behalf was exactly what my soul needed! The men and women at Wisconsin know firsthand the need to reach out to college students, and when they themselves are unable to physically go and fulfill the Great Commission, knowing that I am able to go and help provides joy and hope.

--- 3 ---

I was able to eat at some of my favorite restaurants for the last time in the near future. Even though I ate out for both lunch and dinner for 5 days, I never ate at the same place twice! Cosi, the Med Cafe, Chipotle, Panera, Noodles, Sunroom Cafe, and many others.  I'm sure these places exist outside of Madison, WI, but the environment won't be the same. Thinking about it, I'm not sure it's the food that is the draw so much as the company and memories. Going to Einstein's Bagels with the girls I mentored. Or grabbing lunch at Chipotle after Mass on Sunday. The food is yummy, but the chance to sit down and relax with friends is what made State Street such a wonderful place.

--- 4 ---

This week, however, did keep me on my toes! It was a constant rush of meeting people all over campus, and I loved every minute of it! Seeing campus was a flood of the familiar, but also curiosity at the new. There's always construction going on around here on campus, and some of the new buildings are finally done! It was a great reminder to see the new cafeteria downtown, the new dorm on lakeshore, the huge hole across from the Business school. Things change. This campus won't stand still just because I've left it.

--- 5 ---

College is meant to be a transitory place. It is only supposed to last 4 or 5 years. Then we are meant to step off campus and apply what we've learned. It's definitely easier said than done, but even if I stayed, others wouldn't. Life moves on whether I want it to or not. Luckily, I'm part of the mission of FOCUS! So even though I won't be on this campus, I will still be at college. But college without the studying and exams!

--- 6 ---

I am so glad I was able to spend a week in Madison before leaving for Virginia. It was so joyful to see many of the students and former students I grew to know and love over the past four years. I was especially glad to see two of the the women I had mentored this past year. Hearing them talk about the upcoming year, I know they will succeed, even without me here. It will be hard to leave them, since so much of my energy last year went into helping them, but there are new faces waiting for me in Virginia who will need me in ways that the women here don't.

--- 7 ---

Unrelated, my team director Anthony and his wife Rosabel had a baby girl yesterday! Gemma Rose Christenson was born yesterday afternoon. I'm so excited to have a little baby in our FOCUS family next year at Mary Washington!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Coming and Going

A Hobbit's Tale.

The near past and the near future involve me staying for extended periods of time in different cities. From Madison to Green Bay, from Champaign, IL to St. Paul, MN, it feels like my life is constantly being uprooted. I crave stability. I love knowing that wherever I am, there is a house, my home, waiting for me. In my imagination, this home looks like a cozy cottage with a fire in the fireplace in the middle of the woods surrounded by foot upon foot of snow.

I love both solitude and security. This constant coming and going and going and coming has me all mixed up and off balance. Unfortunately, it doesn't help my state of mind knowing that this place of stability for the next nine months will be...Virginia. A place to which I've never been. On top of that, we don't currently have an apartment leased. So it's a hypothetical place at the moment. Oh dear.

While I will enjoy finally having a place to stay for longer than five weeks at a time, I have been struggling to look forward to living for a year in a place I have never been and didn't actively choose to go. I wasn't able to sit down and make a list of all the reasons moving to Virginia would be good. I was sent out. I wasn't asked to choose one school from five at which I would like to serve. I was sent out to Virginia. If, for some crazy reason, Virginia is terrible and the worst place in the USA, I'm stuck there for nine months. Not that I'm anticipating this to happen, but I tend to plan for the worst.

I knew that this was what it meant to be a missionary. I knew when I applied to FOCUS that I would be asked to serve wherever the need was greatest. I passively chose Virginia. I had hoped the greatest need for me was in Wisconsin, or even Minnesota, but it wasn't. I am needed in Virginia. So off I go, to the "Great Unknown."

But not today. Today I look to tomorrow. And tomorrow I look to the day after that. Today I'm in Green Bay, Wisconsin. And tomorrow I will be too.