Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Happy Endings

The University of Mary Washington is about 70% women, which presents a lot of unique opportunities. On the one hand, it means I get to meet a lot of new people everyday since I primarily work with women. On the other hand, it means I have a lot of work to do.

With so many women, however, I end up talking a lot about vocations, particularly the vocation of marriage and, alongside it, the lack of men. It's hard to feel called to marriage, but to also know that you are only one half of that vocation. It's also hard to see two of my teammates married with children. Their wives are wonderful people, but sometimes jealousy creeps in, and it's difficult to not idealize the lives they have.

Mr. Bingley and Jane

I was watching the movie "Pride and Prejudice" with my sisters, and it got to the scene where Mr. Bingley is leaving Netherfield, his house near the Bennett family. With his leaving, he is also leaving behind Jane, who has fallen in love with him. As he was driving away, I said to my sister, "I wish life was like the movies. We know it's all going to work out. It's sad now, but in 45 minutes, they'll be back together and happy."

But life is like the movies! We don't have the pleasure of knowing exactly how things will work out, like we do for Jane and Mr. Bingley, but we do know that things will be happy in the end. Of course, this is all well and easy to say when life doesn't seem to be crumbling down around you, or when you aren't in tears because it doesn't seem fair that you have to wait, and the waiting is hard, and the waiting is longer than 45 minutes. In these moments, though, we get to look at the bigger picture: Jesus became man, lived here on earth with us and for us, died and rose again. He won. We will win. As long as there is faith and hope in Him, there will be happy endings.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Seven Quick Takes, Vol. 8




--- 1 ---
From January 2-6, over 6000 college students attended the national FOCUS Conference, SEEK2013. It was the largest nation-wide event that FOCUS has ever hosted. Students from all 74 of the campuses where missionaries are stationed attended. There were also many more students that I had expected from non-FOCUS campuses! For example, the University of Miami brought 14 students, which is almost the same number of students we brought. It was so exciting to be surrounded by so many young people who were on fire for their faith, and interested in growing deeper in their relationship with Christ.


--- 2 ---
16 of those students were from the University of Mary Washington, an incredible turn-out for a first year campus. We had 9 women and 7 men come from Mary Washington and the near-by community college. It was amazing to see the friendships transform throughout the conference. Many of the students hadn't met before coming to SEEK, and they got to know each other well. We hope that these newly-formed relationships will remain throughout their college experience.
Most of the UMW women at SEEK.

--- 3 ---
It was an amazing experience! None of the students who attended had any regrets about coming, and all of them hope to return to a national conference, and bring along friends! One of the women from my small group even sent me a text message after we got back, thanking me for the invitation to attend conference and  the financial help that enabled her to go. It was a such a rewarding investment, to see her excitement and joy at SEEK, and knowing that the friendships she formed and encouragement she received will last her a lifetime!

--- 4 ---
There were some amazing speakers, from Curtis Martin, the founder of FOCUS; to Matthew Kelly, an internationally known Catholic speaker and bestselling author; to Leah Darrow, former contestant on America's Next Top Model who has an incredible testimony about her re-conversion to the faith. For the three main days of the talk, the men and women were divided into two groups by gender. It was awesome to hear a Catholic perspective on true womanhood, and how we can live a feminine life in a world that often tries to tell women who and what they are. I particularly enjoyed the session led by Helen Alvare, a law professor at George Mason University. She was a practicing lawyer and mother of two who offered great advice about how to be a wife, mother, and working woman. She encouraged us not to let anyone else define our lives for us, but to keep our sights focused on Christ and walk in His path alone.

--- 5 ---
I roomed with three of our students at the beautiful Swan and Dolphin Resort in Disney. I didn't know them particularly well before conference, and so I was excited to get to know them better. Unfortunately, I came to recognize that I was definitely more of a morning person than all three of them. While it was lights out for me around 11 pm, and wake up time was around 7 am, I'm not sure the students were ever in before midnight, and I had to make sure everyone was out of bed by 8:30 am, so we would make to mass by 9. But, it was great to hear their reactions to the talks, and I was able to have some conversations with the girls that I wouldn't have been able to have if I wasn't their roommate.

--- 6 ---
For the first time in months, I was able to reconnect with all the missionaries I went to school with and met at New Staff Training. It was so wonderful to see so many familiar faces, and to hear about the work the missionaries are doing on other campuses. I especially enjoyed catching up with Ryan and Samantha. The three of us all graduated from UW-Madison last year, and were good friends in college. I also got to eat lunch with Kourtney, my very first Bible study leader!

--- 7 ---
SEEK2013 was an incredible experience, so full of hope! From seeing all the students gathered in one place to celebrate Mass together, to hearing about the excitement of growing Bible studies on the many FOCUS campuses, to seeing all the priests and religious men and women who were available to the students and missionaries throughout conference. It was such a joyful week, and I can't wait to get back to campus to share that joy with all the students who weren't able to attend!
Two sisters join a group of students in a friendly game of basketball.
Three of the freshmen from my small group Bible study all dressed up for the 20s-themed swing dance!




For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Saturday, December 29, 2012

2012 in Review

As the year draws to a close, I thought it might be a good time to take a moment to reflect on the past year. So, here it is: 2012 in review.

January
I began my last semester as an undergraduate at the University of Wisconsin! I also started to feel the pressure of having a thesis due in three short months. It was both a relief and slightly terrifying! Even though I wasn't a full-time student, I knew I had a tough semester ahead of me, with my part-time job, Bible study, discipleships, and finding time to enjoy Madison!

February
Lent began in February, and I decided to go big this year. I gave up meat for the whole forty days! It was a budget-friendly decision - meat, on average, costs much more than rice and beans, but also a spiritual one, as there was nothing that would prevent me from not eating meat. I originally thought it would be a really difficult sacrifice, like the way I would crave a cheeseburger every Friday during Lent in the past, but it ended up being much different than I imagined. I found I really didn't dream about eating meat as much as I expected. In fact, there are so many different non-meat options, that my diet hardly suffered at all.* The hardest part was eating out at restaurants, and not being able to order 90% of what was on the menu.
*Except when I really wanted shepards pie, but couldn't use hamburger. I tried using barley with extra sauce as a substitute, but it really didn't turn out at all. I had rubbery barley and mushy mashed potatoes with a sauce that really suffered from not having the hamburger flavor. I ate the whole thing as a sacrifice, and even tried not to complain!

March
I realized that turning 22 isn't quite as fun as turning 21. I don't even remember whether or not I had a birthday party to be honest! But a good friend, whose birthday is just a few days after mine, turned 21 and had a big celebration. I had so much fun baking a cake for her, and seeing her excitement, that whatever I did has totally slipped my mind! March was also unseasonably warm, and I remember being so happy to ditch the winter boots and bring out the sundresses and sandals!

April
With just over a month left of school, April was crunch-time. I realized that if my thesis was ever going to get written, I needed to start writing, and writing fast! I also saw looming deadlines in my other classes, and smaller deadlines for papers and projects that become more of a nuisance than anything. I also started to realize that I might have bitten off more than I could chew with work and Bible studies! I ended up having to cut back a little to finish my school work, but, in the end it all worked out and my thesis got done.

May
Graduation! After four years of hard work and dedication, I finally graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Madison with degrees in History and Religious Studies. It was a bittersweet moment. I was incredibly proud to have made it through my time at the UW, but it was harder than I thought it would be to leave behind all my friends that I had grown so close to over four years. Of course, I'm still close to so many of my friends, but it takes a lot more effort now that we don't see each other on a daily or even weekly or monthly basis.
My sisters and I at graduation
June
I was at FOCUS New Staff Training, colloquially known as "Summer Training" or NST, for the whole month of June. It was a really difficult transition for me, to graduate from the UW and one week later be back in classes. I also found it hard to come from UW-Madison, where I encountered a wide variety of people with many different opinions, to NST, where everyone that I saw was a Catholic missionary. It was wonderful in some ways, to know that we were all striving for holiness together, without any of the first years really having a good sense of what we would be encountering in the next few months with fundraising and transitioning to campus, but I really struggled with feeling so homogeneous.
Me (second right) with FOCUS missionaries at NST
July
Fundraising, fundraising, and more fundraising! I spent the whole month meeting with people to tell them more about FOCUS and the mission work I would be doing for the next two years, and inviting them to join me! At times it got really tiring and prayer was the only thing that helped me through it all, but it also was really amazing to reconnect with old friends and meet some new faces! I particularly enjoyed meeting so many parishioners at St. Agnes Parish, where I grew up and have worshiped with for years, but never knew! Now, whenever I go to mass there, I always know at least one other person and often more. I love feeling so connected with a community back home.

August
At the beginning of the month, I packed up almost everything I owned, and traveled across the country to Virginia, my new home! Oh my goodness! I learned to trust God SO MUCH over the summer, with fundraising, and I got to trust Him just a little bit more in moving. It's funny to think that almost everyone that I see on a daily basis I met just a few months ago, and that the place I now call home was totally unknown to me before August 10!

September
It was so hard to transition from student to missionary! I had no clue what I was doing half the time, and I struggled to figure out how to relate to the students as a missionary, and not as a fellow student. While I am still their peer in many ways, I am also a representative of the Church and a living witness to Christ. Talk about pressure! I'll be the first to admit that it wasn't always easy. There were many sleepless nights of wondering whether or not I'd said or done the right thing. At times, I thought for sure all the students hated me and that I was the worst missionary in the history of the world! And then I would realize I was being dramatic, and just kept on working, knowing that "all things work for good for those who love God" (Romans 8:28 - a Bible verse that has gotten me through many rough times this semester).

October
By the end of the month, Halloween, I finally felt like Virginia was home. I knew more of the students on a deeper level, my teammates and I had gotten into a routine, and I more or less knew my way around Fredericksburg. It also helped that I was able to visit Wisconsin for about a week! Although it was nice to be back at the UW and at my parents' house, neither of those places were home. I know more people living in Fredericksburg than I do in Green Bay. St. Paul's, UW's campus Catholic church, held more unfamiliar faces than familiar ones. Returning to campus was difficult, but it was nice to return to my ordinary pattern of living.
Susie and I went as "hawaiian punch" for Halloween
November
I (finally!) visited Washington, DC with Susie and a fellow UW grad who lives in the city. It was so much fun to see our nation's capital. It was a beautiful day, so we walked around to all the monuments, and stopped briefly in the American History Museum to see the original American flag they have there. Stepping outside of campus life for the weekend was a lot of fun. Sometimes I feel like my life is on display, like my actions are always being judged and noticed by teammates and students. And for the most part, it's true. As a missionary, I do have a responsibility to represent myself well because it doesn't go unnoticed. But, at the same time, even if I wasn't a missionary, I would still have the responsibility as a Catholic to represent myself and the Church well.
Susie and I at the Virginia pillar of the World War II memorial in Washington, DC
December
I'm 25% of the way done with my FOCUS mission work! Now that I've started to make the transition from student to missionary, I'm starting to prepare for the next transition: missionary to student. Specifically, studying for the LSAT, the Law School Admission Test. But first, I'll just enjoy spending time with my family, being back in the midwest, and the snow! If I've learned anything from being a missionary, it's that life is best handled one day at a time!

Friday, November 30, 2012

Some Wisdom from G.K. Chesterton

Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly. - G.K. Chesterton
G.K. Chesterton
1874-1936
With Thanksgiving Break over, the semester is winding down. Our team is preparing for the end-of-semester evaluations, both of our personal work and of our overall effectiveness on campus as a team. It has meant a lot of introspection and analysis, and for some reason, this quote by G.K. Chesterton came to mind. I had read it a while ago online somewhere, and it's stuck with me.

It's easy to get caught up in the numbers: 17 women in small groups, over 100 holy hours and Masses, 2 women in one-on-one mentorship. But these numbers don't even begin to tell the story of what this semester as a missionary has taught me. More often than not, these numbers make me feel like a failure. On a campus of 4,000+ students, I only have 17 of them in small group Bible studies.

These words came to mind on a morning when I seemed to get stuck in the "failure" of it all. They gave me such a beautiful reminder of the hope that is inherent in all that we do. If I would have waited until things were "perfect," I would never have made it out here, and 17 women wouldn't have gotten to know Christ in a deeper way through Bible study. 2 women wouldn't have been taught how to share their joy and enthusiasm to help others come to know Christ.

The timing will never be perfect. Perfection is Heaven, and outside of it, things can always be better. The important thing is to not let the circumstances stop you. Just get started, knowing that we will never get things just exactly right. But if the work is worth doing, it's worth doing it poorly.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Washington, D.C.!

This past Sunday, my roommate Susie and I went to Washington, D.C. to do the "touristy" things! My friend Patrick, who graduated with me from UW-Madison, works for one of the courts in DC. I was happy to see a familiar face, and see DC with people who knew their way around! I visited most of the monuments and the American History Museum. I had so much fun, but there's still so much to see!
Here I am at the Lincoln Memorial!

The Washington Monument. We had a perfect day--sunny  and clear!

Patrick and I at the Wisconsin pillar of the World War II Memorial, commemorating the deaths of soldiers from WI. 

A quote by FDR, from the FDR Memorial, that I really liked!