7 Quick Takes, Vol. 5

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I'm cheating a little bit this week for my quick takes. I had a fairly low-key week, so I thought I would share an easy 6-step recipe for a tortilla sandwich. Tortilla sandwiches is an easy meal I discovered when I wanted a grilled cheese sandwich, but didn't have any bread. So I used tortillas! Since then, I've expanded on the recipe and it's one of my favorite, easy meals.

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Basic Ingredients:

-Tortillas- I've used either 1 large tortilla folded in half, or 2 smaller tortillas

-Beans (black beans or pinto beans)- I suppose you don't really need beans, but I love them and this is usually what I do with taco leftovers

-Cheese- absolutely necessary! Not only because I'm from WI and cheese is a staple in just about every meal, but also because it's what makes the tortillas stick together.

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Additional Ingredients:
-Hamburger
-Tomatoes
-Salsa
-Refried beans
-Rice
-Taco Sauce/Enchilada Sauce/Hot Sauce
-Sour Cream
-Lettuce- although I put the lettuce on top of the tortilla, instead of grilling it inside of the sandwich

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Directions:
Warm up the frying pan, and add about a tablespoon of olive oil, or whatever oil you have on hand, or butter. I like the flavor of the olive oil, and the way it makes the tortillas crispy.

Did I really need a picture of oil in a frying pan?

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Layer the ingredients on the tortillas. I like to put some cheese on the bottom and on the top, to help it really stick together.

LOTS of cheese!

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Put the sandwich in the hot pan, and cook on one side until the tortilla is warm and crispy. Flip, and do the same for the second side.

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If you want, you can put lettuce and/or spinach and/or sour cream and/or salsa and/or hot sauce on top of the warm sandwich. Eat up, and enjoy!

I only had lettuce on hand, so that's what I used. But I also ate it with some ranch dressing,
which was surprisingly good!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Called to Mission

One of the great twentieth-century Catholic theologians, Hans Urs von Balthasar, described his call from God to the priesthood, saying he felt as if he had been "struck as by lightening...It was simply this: you have nothing to choose, you have been called. You will not serve, you will be taken into service. You have no plans to make, you are just a little stone in a mosaic which has long been ready. All I needed to do was to stand there and wait and see what I would be needed for."*

I absolutely love this quote. In many ways, I feel as though my call to FOCUS was along these same lines. One day I just woke up, and knew I wasn't going to law school in 2012. I was going to apply to FOCUS. I dithered about it a little bit, trying to find another program I could do instead, still looking at LSAT test dates. But I knew, deep down, that God had called me to FOCUS, to serve Him as a missionary.

I think many of my life decisions are made in this way. Most of the big decisions I've made are one's I've just known. I never really seriously considered going anywhere else for college except UW-Madison. When I took my first Religious Studies class, I knew that was what my major would be. Once I heard about spiritual direction, I knew I needed it. Attending the FOCUS National Conference was a decision I seemed to make on the fly, same with the FOCUSequip training last summer. All of these I tried to get out of, tried to un-hear God's call, but like the prophet Jeremiah, I couldn't.

You deceived me, LORD, and I let myself be deceived; you were too strong for me, and you prevailed ... I say I will not mention him, I will no longer speak in his name. But then it is as if fire is burning in my heart, imprisoned in my bones; I grow weary holding back, I cannot! (Jeremiah 20:7, 9)

Or I think of St. Augustine who writes in his Confessions, "my heart is restless until it rests in You." Von Balthasar's works are some of the most beautiful I've ever read, and the idea that I am just "a little stone in a mosaic which has long been ready" is one that really touches my heart. The trust that Von Balthasar had in God, to be able to trust that all his thoughts and actions were aligned with the Divine Will, is encouraging. It takes the pressure off. It reminds me to be humble. In a mosaic, it's not the tiles that stand out, but the image they make. I want my heart to long for Jesus so much that I step outside of myself more and more, to everyday be better able to conform myself to the pattern He has already made; knowing that His pattern is greater and more beautiful than my little tile could ever be.

*English translation by Peter Henrici, SJ, "Hans Urs von Balthasar: A Sketch of His Life," in David L. Schindler's Hans Urs von Balthasar: His Life and Work.

7 Quick Takes, Vol. 4

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What a week! The best part of being a missionary who fundraises her own salary is getting to meet people I might have no reason to meet up with otherwise. This Tuesday, I spent the afternoon down in Appleton, WI and had lunch with a cousin who I haven't seen a while, and dinner with my uncle and his family. It was such a nice opportunity to see some members of my family who I don't know well, but would like to know better.

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Speaking of family, tomorrow I have another cousin getting married in the Twin Cities! It will be the first time my dad's family has gotten together in years! I'm looking forward to seeing cousins and aunts and uncles again, and hearing about how they've been doing.

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I'm planning to stay in Minnesota an extra day to visit with some friends who are living out there. One friend has been in Austria for the past 6 months, and I can't wait to hear about the fun times she has had teaching kindergartners in Klagenfurt! The other friend I'm excited to see got engaged at the end of the school year, and her and her fiance both moved to the Twin Cities area. I'm looking forward to hearing how her wedding plans are going, and just spending time with both of them.

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While speaking at my parish this Sunday, I met two young women who will be at FOCUS campuses this fall! One will be a freshman down in Louisiana, and the other returns for her second year at UW-LaCrosse. It was so encouraging to hear how the message of FOCUS really helped them to have a desire to become more involved with the campus Catholic community this fall! It's this kind of news that inspires me to continue working diligently here at home so that I can be more effective on campus this fall.

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For not having rained all summer, things sure have turned around fast! My "white noise" while studying this past year has been the sound of rain, so it's nice that the background atmosphere is real rain and not just noise coming from my computer! It's such a soothing sound, and it makes me want to curl up with a book and a cup of tea. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to take the time off to do so, and it's also still pretty humid and so the thought of having a blanket on is not pleasant!

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St. Agnes Church, my home parish growing up.

I love going to daily Mass at St. Agnes at 6:45 am and seeing over 50 people in attendance. It's so encouraging to see so many men and women come to mass before going off to work, and older couples waking up so early to start their day off with the Eucharist.

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It's raining again this morning! As kids, my sisters and I would be grabbing our umbrellas to go outside and play!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

A Knight in the Lord's Army

A knight with a pilgrims.

One of the first passages I meditated on in the Bible back when I first learned lectio divina was from Ephesians 6: "Put on the armor of God,...stand fast with your loins girded in truth, clothed with righteousness." I fell in love with the intense imagery of the passage, and I often reread it when I could use some encouragement. The idea of putting on armor has always brought me to medieval times when kings and queens and knights roamed throughout Europe.

I was a history major at the UW, but my concentration was in modern history, long past the days when medieval were traveling throughout the land. After a quick google search of knighthood, I found that the root of the word knight is "servant." A knight was originally someone designated to serve! The very first military knights were simple soldiers who traveled with pilgrims as protectors to help them reach their destination safely. This has brought a whole new idea to the passage. It's not of a knight preparing herself for battle, but of one donning the clothing that will allow her to defend her charges to the best of her ability.

In the introduction to his letter to the Romans, St. Paul writes that he has been "set apart for the gospel." While praying with this passage, I found myself remembering back to the imagery from Ephesians. To become a knight, young men were singled out from early age, and taught how to be a knight--how to serve, how to protect, how to guide.

In many ways, then, the work I will be doing as a FOCUS missionary is akin to knighthood. I hope to serve, protect, and guide the students at Mary Washington in their journey of faith. I won't physically put on armor, but I will arm myself with the Sacraments, with prayer, and with community. I hope to live up to this call. I hope my words and actions will be girded in truth, clothed in righteousness.

Finally, draw your strength from the Lord and from his mighty power. Put on the armor of God so that you may be able to stand firm against the tactics of the devil. For our struggle is not with flesh and blood but with the principalities, with the powers, with the world rulers of this present darkness, with the evil spirits in the heavens. Therefore, put on the armor of God, that you may be able to resist on the evil day and, having done everything, to hold your ground. So stand fast with your loins girded in truth, clothed with righteousness as a breastplate,and your feet shod in readiness for the gospel of peace. In all circumstances, hold faith as a shield, to quench all [the] flaming arrows of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. (Eph. 6:11-17)

7 Quick Takes, vol. 3

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Bascom Hall at the UW, where I worked for 2 years as the student assistant in the Legal Services office.

All about Madison! I just graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Madison this spring, with degrees in history and religious studies. Growing up, going to college always meant going to the UW. I absolutely LOVED going to school at Wisconsin, and I will miss campus so much next year.

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Memories came flooding back all week as I saw the buildings where I had class or worked and the places I met with students for mentoring. Restaurants where we ate, the Union where we hung out, Bascom Hill where we would just sit and relax. Now, however, new memories have been made! Sitting down with my friends here, and sharing with them my vision and mission with FOCUS in Virginia. Seeing their excitement and joy on my behalf was exactly what my soul needed! The men and women at Wisconsin know firsthand the need to reach out to college students, and when they themselves are unable to physically go and fulfill the Great Commission, knowing that I am able to go and help provides joy and hope.

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I was able to eat at some of my favorite restaurants for the last time in the near future. Even though I ate out for both lunch and dinner for 5 days, I never ate at the same place twice! Cosi, the Med Cafe, Chipotle, Panera, Noodles, Sunroom Cafe, and many others.  I'm sure these places exist outside of Madison, WI, but the environment won't be the same. Thinking about it, I'm not sure it's the food that is the draw so much as the company and memories. Going to Einstein's Bagels with the girls I mentored. Or grabbing lunch at Chipotle after Mass on Sunday. The food is yummy, but the chance to sit down and relax with friends is what made State Street such a wonderful place.

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This week, however, did keep me on my toes! It was a constant rush of meeting people all over campus, and I loved every minute of it! Seeing campus was a flood of the familiar, but also curiosity at the new. There's always construction going on around here on campus, and some of the new buildings are finally done! It was a great reminder to see the new cafeteria downtown, the new dorm on lakeshore, the huge hole across from the Business school. Things change. This campus won't stand still just because I've left it.

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College is meant to be a transitory place. It is only supposed to last 4 or 5 years. Then we are meant to step off campus and apply what we've learned. It's definitely easier said than done, but even if I stayed, others wouldn't. Life moves on whether I want it to or not. Luckily, I'm part of the mission of FOCUS! So even though I won't be on this campus, I will still be at college. But college without the studying and exams!

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I am so glad I was able to spend a week in Madison before leaving for Virginia. It was so joyful to see many of the students and former students I grew to know and love over the past four years. I was especially glad to see two of the the women I had mentored this past year. Hearing them talk about the upcoming year, I know they will succeed, even without me here. It will be hard to leave them, since so much of my energy last year went into helping them, but there are new faces waiting for me in Virginia who will need me in ways that the women here don't.

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Unrelated, my team director Anthony and his wife Rosabel had a baby girl yesterday! Gemma Rose Christenson was born yesterday afternoon. I'm so excited to have a little baby in our FOCUS family next year at Mary Washington!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Encouragement

I stumbled across this image today, and I absolutely LOVE it! The image itself is pretty, and the quote is so great! With all the stress that comes with missionary life and fundraising, it's nice to just sit back, and breathe. To remember that in the end, God doesn't need me. He can reach souls and change hearts in the blink of an eye. I am so privileged that He desires to work through me.

But, ultimately, He just wants me, my soul. Because what Father doesn't want to simply spend time with His daughter?

7 Quick Takes, vol. 2

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Trusting in God is hard. Putting my faith in something, Someone, that I can't see is incredibly difficult. It's so easy to fall into the "what ifs"...What if God doesn't actually exist? What if I'm not supposed to be a missionary and God is trying to tell me that and I'm just not getting it? What if I'm not cut out for mission life? What if nobody likes me in Virginia? What if I can't raise enough to get to Virginia? What if... What if... What if... The list can go on and on in my head.

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I sometimes feel like St. Thomas, aka Doubting Thomas. The missionaries around me have seen the Lord. They know Him- they've heard His voice, they've seen His face. He is not a mystery to them. But I don't believe them. I haven't heard Him or seen His face. How can they have such complete and total trust in this Great Mystery? Why do they seem to get it, and my mind keeps reaching a dead end. Why do I keep walking into a brick wall when it comes to putting complete and total faith in Him?

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I recently found a prayer by St. Thomas Aquinas that seems to summarize my doubts perfectly. It's the Adoro Te Devote, and it speaks about believing in God, particularly in the Eucharist, where both His humanity and divinity is hidden. I love the whole prayer, but especially the line that claims that "hearing suffices firmly to believe." At Mass, during the Eucharistic prayer, all I have is the sound of the priest speaking the Words of Consecration, but those words are enough, they must be enough.

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Other times, trust comes more easily, more naturally. For example, I still don't have an apartment in Virginia. But for some reason, this doesn't bother me at all. I am totally confident that by the time I need to move to Fredericksburg, I will have a place to live.

Preferably not a little shack by the side of the railroad tracks!

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And I know that God is good, that Jesus is Lord. He takes care of me in the little ways- running into an old friend from high school whom I haven't seen in years, hearing about how a mission partner had an incredible encounter with the Holy Spirit, turning on the radio right as my favorite song starts playing. I know He loves me in the little things.

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It's the big things that keep me up at night, tossing and turning. Although, surprisingly, my unconscious doesn't register "finding a place to live" as a big thing. It's the worries about money (will I ever raise enough to be able to go to campus?), about friends (will anyone in Virginia like me and how can I leave all my Wisconsin friends?), about meeting people (why would I ever have volunteered for a job that involves talking to strangers every day?). But mostly it's about money.

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But as my team director has said, "We work for the richest Man in the world." And I do! We only have what God allows us to have, and He won't allow me to live in poverty, alone and friendless, meeting only unpleasant, rude people. I do trust that in the abstract. It's only in the daily grind, where I start thinking that I'm somehow missing something that others have,  that it's difficult.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!